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My Type Of Countdown: Top 5 Pirates Who Shouldn't Be Taken Seriously

Steve Tyminski
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Steve Tyminski lives in the great state of New Jersey and is a huge sports fan, especially the Devils/Mets/Jets. He went to college for Criminal Justice and History and has journalism experience. Been a Nintendo Guy for a long as he can remember and grew up with the Mario Brothers. His sense of humor comes out in his writing. Twitter-Follow at https://twitter.com/TumsST

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 Published March 13, 2013 4:35 PM

With Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag being revealed recently, it got me thinking about the top 5 pirates in TV and video games that you shouldn't take seriously

Number 2 Captain Blubber, Banjo Kazooie

It helps the pirates on this list that they do indeed have a ship to call their own. They don’t need one but it doesn’t hurt. Captain Blubber has a ship, the Salty Hippo. Captain Blubber is of course a Hippo after all so why wouldn’t his ship be named the Salty Hippo The only problem with the ship is that it has run aground so that doesn’t help a pirate in his quest to be taken seriously.

It also turns out that he can’t swim. How can a pirate captain who spends most of, if not all of, his time in/near water not know how to swim? Pirate hat, check. Black and Red pirate pants, check. Sword, check. He also doesn’t use words to speak but not too many Banjo Kazooie characters use words to speak. He burps and belches to get his points across. It also seems to be the M.O. of these pirates to use pirate jargon as much as possible. Captain Blubber is no different as he says ‘"Me treasure! Thank ye me hearties, take this reward! I'm off ter spend, spend, spend!" and “yar” from time to time. A hippo pirate who can’t swim and has his ship un-sailable isn’t going to be taken seriously. Number 2 Captain Blubber

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